Brute Reason

A collection of thoughts about psychology, social justice, and anything else I give a shit about. freethoughtblogs.com/brutereason

Topics: feminism / psychology / lgbtq / sex / politics / abortion / health / mental illness / language / depression / sexism / sexual assault / fashion / racism / education / social justice

my actual writing, if you're curious

It’s not a given that any first date will ever lead to a second date, never mind a relationship. You don’t have to test out your theory that it won’t work and it isn’t want you want, you can act on your hypothesis. You are a nice person who wants to save this guy the embarrassment and effort of reaching out again only to be rejected, and that’s admirable, but anything you do to pre-empt that will come across as presumptive. You’re not responsible if your relative & their spouse oversold the thing to him. You’re not responsible if he likes you more than you like him. You are only responsible for being true to your own desires and communicating them as cleanly as you can. Assume nothing on his part, unless he makes a direct request for another date, at which point you say, “No, thank you.”

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