Brute Reason

A collection of thoughts about psychology, social justice, and anything else I give a shit about.

Topics: feminism / psychology / lgbtq / sex / politics / abortion / health / mental illness / language / depression / sexism / sexual assault / fashion / racism / education / social justice

my actual writing, if you're curious

Here’s the dirty little secret about this though: there is no such thing as withholding sex because there is no situation in which you owe another human being sex. Ever. Your body is 100% your own and you get to consent or not consent to other people doing things to or with your body for whatever the hell reason you would like. This includes because you’re pissed off at the person, because they did something you didn’t like, because you just don’t fucking feel like it, because you’re tired, because you don’t feel attractive, because you’d rather read a book…any of the above. And not wanting to have sex with someone because you have negative feelings towards them at a given moment is not in fact punishment. It’s actually a very natural human feeling not to want to be physically intimate with someone when you’re annoyed/angry/hurt/sad with them. Oddly enough letting someone be close to your body when you don’t feel emotionally close to them doesn’t always feel great (if that’s your thing then go for it, but for those who don’t like it then there is no fucking reason to apologize).

But the idea that you can pull some sort of power play in a relationship by not giving the other person something which you don’t owe to them in the first place makes no sense. It would be like telling your partner that you’re going to punish them by not baking them chocolate chip cookies every day: sure, maybe they would like those cookies but in no way are you obligated to bake them cookies anyway, so they should probably be just fine getting along without it. The idea that you should feel as if the only way you can express that you’re angry or upset or unhappy in your relationship is by taking ownership over your body in a way that is so basic it should never have been a question is somewhat disgusting. If your partner has you so convinced that you owe them sex, no wonder you feel a little angry or vindictive towards them.

  1. himebonbon reblogged this from skellingtonwellington
  2. skellingtonwellington reblogged this from himebonbon
  3. shhdontlook reblogged this from sociolab
  4. paige-warnock reblogged this from musicalelodie
  5. lennymoo reblogged this from official-mens-frights-activist
  6. goddamnitshannon reblogged this from checkprivilege
  7. musicalelodie reblogged this from usagitsukinoo
  8. fromhadeswithlovee reblogged this from zoethejoey
  9. mollyfamous reblogged this from skyghe
  10. jennyjweasley reblogged this from goasksarahh
  11. skyghe reblogged this from official-mens-frights-activist
  12. falsettofetish reblogged this from ariamaculata
  13. ec0geek reblogged this from official-mens-frights-activist
  14. deadmandrowning reblogged this from misandry-mermaid
  15. andjustlove reblogged this from itmeeartheldhiding
  16. sunnsetss reblogged this from shashakendra
  17. shashakendra reblogged this from foolishteenagekicks
  18. majesticlumberjackking reblogged this from viviras
  19. viviras reblogged this from foolishteenagekicks
  20. shxdyhippiexx reblogged this from rowrz
  21. foolishteenagekicks reblogged this from sequin-apples
  22. into-cold-sunlight reblogged this from starflowersnowflower
  23. ariamaculata reblogged this from mercythompsons
  24. starflowersnowflower reblogged this from agenderavenger
  25. yaoiwerepup reblogged this from mercythompsons
  26. cosplaywitchix reblogged this from hpwheeloftime
  27. phillybertoes reblogged this from slushiebrains
  28. hpwheeloftime reblogged this from glitter6ug
  29. puuuuupies reblogged this from helens78

blog comments powered by Disqus
Ultralite Powered by Tumblr | Designed by:Doinwork