Brute Reason

A collection of thoughts about psychology, social justice, and anything else I give a shit about. freethoughtblogs.com/brutereason

Topics: feminism / psychology / lgbtq / sex / politics / abortion / health / mental illness / language / depression / sexism / sexual assault / fashion / racism / education / social justice

my actual writing, if you're curious

I’d also like to briefly address the reports that have been surfacing on a semi-regular basis, increasingly of late, about my instability, my hysteria, my insanity. I also accept these to a certain extent as the lot of a feminist – and really, a woman. Women who demand equality, women who don’t accept their position as quiet, acquiescent, shyly smiling, fading into the background, no more than a pretty backdrop for men, the main actors of life, have always been dismissed as hysterical. But I also accept it as grounded to a certain extent in reality. Yes, my mental health has been affected by the non-stop abuse and promises to track me down and violate me. Yes I am more fearful, less in control of my emotions. Yes I do suffer from flashbacks, yes I am easily triggered. This is before we even get to the point that at least one of the threats that was made against me is something that has happened to me already.

I defy anyone to go through that bombardment, that relentless fear and horror, and emerge psychologically unscathed – and the misogynists who like to invade my mentions on a daily basis haven’t given me a chance to recover from the abuse for a start. But beyond this, really, I don’t know how long is an “acceptable” timeframe to recover psychologically from months of people who are posting your contact details online telling you they will track you down and rape you, mutilate you, gang-bang you to death. All I know is that twitter is making it harder for people like me to be able to continue to stay and fight to keep what little access women have to the public arena. What little voice we are allowed. What little presence we dare to take and keep for ourselves. My right, every woman’s right, to a voice, to a say, to be heard in public, is why I remain on twitter despite how difficult I find it. Despite how every day I wish I could just lock myself away and never have to deal with it all ever again. So please twitter. Look at how hard it is for us already. Stop making it harder.

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