Brute Reason

A collection of thoughts about psychology, social justice, and anything else I give a shit about. freethoughtblogs.com/brutereason

Topics: feminism / psychology / lgbtq / sex / politics / abortion / health / mental illness / language / depression / sexism / sexual assault / fashion / racism / education / social justice

my actual writing, if you're curious

jessthemesslol:

brutereason:

I was thinking today about how often when I tell guys that it makes many women uncomfortable to hear what they think of us sexually when we have no preexisting romantic or sexual (or, often, platonic) connection, they respond with things like “SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING I CAN’T FIND WOMEN ATTRACTIVE” or “WHAT SO NOW IT’S A CRIME TO THINK A GIRL IS HOT”.

I think it’s crucial and telling that in these responses, men are seemingly unable to distinguish between the thoughts we have about people and the thoughts we have about people that we share with the people they’re about.

And it’s interesting how in most other situations, it’s not exactly a radical idea that sometimes you might not want to share your opinion about someone with that person. We’ve all made the peace with annoying relatives or incompetent coworkers or, for that matter, people we find UNattractive.

It’s only when it comes to a woman’s appearance that a request like “Hey, please don’t make comments like that to me, it makes me uncomfortable” is met with hyperbolically defensive comments like “WHAT SO I’M A TERRIBLE PERSON FOR FINDING YOU ATTRACTIVE?!”

Often, clear communication and honesty are very important. Other times, keeping your thoughts about people to yourself is absolutely necessary to avoid freaking people out and destroying social situations. There is no reason why a random woman on the street or a coworker or whoever needs to know your opinion about her appearance. IT IS OKAY TO HAVE OPINIONS ON HER APPEARANCE, positive or negative. That doesn’t mean they need to be shared.

sure except im a little leery about the part about it being okay to have that opinion… your need to determine whether or not your women friends or women in general are attractive (whether before anything else, or even as part of the friendship) is a little wacked, and i have never seen a man’s judgement of a woman’s appearance not factor into how worthy of his time he thinks her to be, no matter how platonic the relationship is…

I suppose so? But I’m not really willing to tell people what they can and cannot think. I do believe that right now, many such thoughts are mostly automatic anyway, and that they will probably start to diminish as people’s paradigms shift and feminist ideas become more and more mainstream and internalized.

Right now I would be happy if people would learn not to say everything they think.

(via jessicathemess)

  1. shinoteki reblogged this from brutereason
  2. ghost-inthewall reblogged this from sophiekaijuu
  3. sophiekaijuu reblogged this from queerasgob
  4. gonnaplotz reblogged this from actualmenacebuckybarnes
  5. -usernameunknown- reblogged this from actualmenacebuckybarnes
  6. actualmenacebuckybarnes reblogged this from dodgylogic
  7. missangorian reblogged this from bemusedlybespectacled
  8. piiritus reblogged this from jessicathemess
  9. theraptorwhomurderedlove reblogged this from ihavealittlefeminism
  10. arrowsandlipsticks reblogged this from brutereason
  11. aliaisqueen reblogged this from brutereason
  12. noonecanmagentalikeyou reblogged this from brutereason
  13. penguinsdontpurr reblogged this from brutereason
  14. goddammitdirk reblogged this from brutereason
  15. loquey reblogged this from antinahottub and added:
    Definitely a rhetorical “random person”! No worries, having these discussions is a good thing! It makes me reflect on...
  16. razielim reblogged this from brutereason
  17. antinahottub reblogged this from loquey and added:
    Hopefully that “you” was a rhetorical “random person”, because while I make some horrible decisions, I was at least able...
  18. dodgylogic reblogged this from brutereason
  19. poisoningpigeonsinthepark reblogged this from lizziegoneastray
  20. literarydivision reblogged this from brutereason
  21. or-tomorrow reblogged this from chocolatechipbunnies
  22. laurenmclauren reblogged this from lorissacism
  23. sofiesg reblogged this from ahandaroundyourwrist
  24. chocolatechipbunnies reblogged this from ihavealittlefeminism
  25. sansacakes reblogged this from trigilis
  26. trigilis reblogged this from brutereason
  27. antineutral reblogged this from brutereason
  28. ahandaroundyourwrist reblogged this from nonbinaryanders
  29. lorissacism reblogged this from openbookopenmind

blog comments powered by Disqus
Ultralite Powered by Tumblr | Designed by:Doinwork