[TW: sexual assault and victim-blaming]
One easy way to spot a man who has not spent much time considering women’s perspectives is when he tells you that, even though rape is never the victim’s fault, it’s still important for women to “reduce their risk” because that’s the smart thing to do.
To be honest, the first time a female friend of mine told me she carried pepper spray around, I was so surprised I choked on the salad I was eating at the time.
A lot of men seriously don’t realize what girls already do.
That being said, the woman’s “already-done-list” should be irrelevant - I’m surprised you addressed it at such length, though it does offer a helpful perspective.
The more difficult discussion, and the far more pertinent one is how taboo the topics of sex and consent are among males when it comes to having an open discussion about them, among peers and even (or perhaps especially) when it comes to father-to-son talks.
It should be irrelevant, but it’s not. The reason I included it was to give men a bit of an approximation of what one woman’s thought process is actually like regarding personal safety, and to get them to see that we already think about this shit and do not need their assistance in thinking about it.