Oh hey looks like I’ve got more to say about my previous post! A lot of the hate seems to be centered on people who “brag” or “humblebrag” or post “self-congratulatory” things on Facebook. So, here’s the deal. Bragging is a gendered activity. Men are praised for it, women are vilified for it, generally speaking. You may not realize you’re doing this. I’ve recently noticed it in myself. Sometimes when I see a woman posting something “braggy” I get this weird feeling that I don’t when it’s a guy. I try to notice this and shut it down, because that’s our culture speaking.
Sometimes, for women, bragging can be a radical, political act. It’s saying, “I will NOT be meek and humble about something that’s actually pretty fucking awesome.” I have to consciously remind myself to be proud of the things I do and to let my friends be proud with me. Letting myself talk openly about my successes and the praise I get from readers and things like that has made me happier because it has balanced out the (constructively or otherwise) negative things I think about myself and my work with more positive, encouraging messages.
And yeah, sometimes it’s weird to see a post that’s basically like “hey guess what I did this awesome thing!” But, honestly, otherwise people might not even know. Almost none of you reading this live anywhere near me. You don’t know what I do with my time. You don’t get to see how happy it makes me when my clients at work say something nice, or when I do some cool activist thing. If telling you about it is “bragging,” then fine, I’ll own it: I’m going to brag. And you can’t fucking stop me.
Also, I just want to add: if you’re going to judge female writers for being openly proud of their work, FUCK YOU TO PLUTO WHICH ISN’T EVEN A PLANET AND BACK. We get death threats just for existing online. Never fucking forget that. We deserve to be proud.