[TW: rape, partner consent issues] What people don’t understand is when we say “Teach men not to rape,” we’re not talking about telling them not to jump out of the bushes in a ski mask and grab the nearest female. We’re talking about the way we teach boys that masculinity is measured by power over others, and that they aren’t men unless they “get some.” We’re talking about teaching men (and women) that it’s not okay to laugh at jokes about rape and abuse. We’re talking about telling men that a lack of “No” doesn’t mean “Yes,” that if a woman is too drunk to consent they shouldn’t touch her, that dating someone - or even being married to someone - does not mean automatic consent. We’re talking about teaching boys to pay attention to the girl they’re with, and if she looks uncomfortable to stop and ask if she’s okay, because sometimes girls don’t know how to say stop in a situation like that. We’re talking about how women have the right to change their mind. Even if she’s been saying yes all night, if she says no, that’s it. It’s over. That’s what we mean when we say “Teach men not to rape.”
Kalitena on Facebook (via oldloveinyoungbodies)
So often, people have a very narrow definition of what rape is. They don’t realize a lack of no doesn’t mean yes. They don’t realize that we can revoke consent at any given time. They don’t understand that they’re not entitled to a person’s body, nor sex, even though they bought them dinner.
They seem to think that rape is only defined a certain way- a stranger, in bushes/a dark alley/parking lot coming out of nowhere and forcing themselves on defenseless woman who’s wearing a short skirt, walking alone in the dead of night.
(Source: waitforhightide, via gruntledandhinged)